willemite

Most flight attendants are not exactly high fliers. The pay is far from lofty, they are faced with work restrictions and requirements that only a union-buster could love, and then they have to put up with the likes of you, me and much worse in the course of a normal day. Heather Poole walked the mean aisles of our (mostly) national airways for fifteen years and has some tales to tell. She writes in a breezy, easy-to-read style, and does try to keep it light. But there is enough material in the unpleasantness these men and women have to cope with that she offers an eye-opening view into what it means to actually be a flight attendant. It begins with a seven-week Barbie Boot Camp that reminded me a bit of Cool Hand Luke. No box involved, but many, many ways to be invited to take a seat outside the facility. Fall asleep in class, you’re out. Late for class, you’re out. Look out an exit the wrong way during a drill, and buh-bye, and so on. She also offers slight views on her co-workers, ranging from disappointment to admiration. Poole is far too perky to really dish dirt and fess to despising anyone. If you are looking for juice on famous passengers, you might have to change seats to row Z, the one in the hangar behind the plane, ‘cuz that sort of thing just won’t fly here. She does offer a few instances of no-names-please oddities among the well-known set, and does have some kind things to say about a few celebrities. No name phobia there. She was particularly taken with how kind Mark Cuban was on her two shifts working his private jet, and gushes about the excellent manners of the members of his basketball team who were on one of those flights.

There are some amusing tales of how the ladies cope with living on fruit-picker wages, while having to find housing in not-so-fruit-picker rental markets like NYC.

You will learn a lot about the actual work involved in tending to passengers on a flight, about the hierarchy within the profession, and some surprising details about flying. Hint: ask for your own can when getting diet coke. For some reason it holds its fizziness long enough to take forever for your attendant to pour.

There are dating tales here, but nothing actually steamy. And some passing refs to some unnamed mile-high-club members. You will pick up some terminology that may or may not come in handy. My favorite was the term "air mattress," which refers to "Cockpit Connies" who have been issuing an excessive number of boarding passes.

And if you have it in mind that many flight attendants get into the profession in order to elevate their marriage prospects, you get a free upgrade. But others are there for the travel benefits primarily. And when your attendant is boasting about her grandchildren I doubt she is hitting on you.

In short, this is an informative, fun, enjoyable book. It will make you appreciate more what the attendants on your next flight have to put up with. Be nice to them. So put your book into an upright position, turn on your reading light and enjoy your flight.