This is a laugh-out-loud novel in which vampirism meets slacker youth in San Francisco. The opening line is a classic “You bitch, you killed me! You suck!” Young Tommy Flood awakes to find that his girlfriend, Jodi, has killed him, with her bite transforming him into a creature of the night. She wanted company and the old guy who turned her only a few months back was not to her liking. He had not been able to do much about it, having been attacked, robbed and ultimately bronzed by Tommy and his buddies, a Greek chorus of comedic mayhem known as the Animals.
The learning curve is a steep one and Tommy is faced with learning the ins and out of his new self. It is particularly important figuring out how to get some coffee as the vampire body is highly resistant to anything resembling normal human fare.
The cast of characters is a rich one, with The Emperor, a homeless guy who runs things on the street, William, a homeless derelict and owner of a very large cat, a 16-year-old wannabe who attaches herself to Tommy and Jodi, a Vegas hooker who had made herself blue to keep business alive, and who the Animals had acquired while running through the several hundred grand they’d gotten from the old bloodsucker. A memorable line here was “Admit it. Didn’t you always want to bone a Smurf?” Neither the plot nor the outcome matters much here. The joy of this book is the journey and the characters. Maybe not an appropriate read for the stuffy, but for those with a sense of humor, and who can tolerate being stared at by other subway passengers for out loud guffawing, it is a delicious read.